Fragile Mind
by justaflickaway
Summary: Hermione finds herself unable to use magic and Snape is the only one able to help her. SS/HG AU post-war
1. 1

Hermione had blinked, it was over, the years of turmoil and uncertainty were gone. She had watched him disintegrate in front of her, watching her best friend collapse from the sheer relief. They had disposed of the Elder wand and as they walked back to the crowds, Harry quickly became the centre of conversation, treating him as the hero he was. For everyone else it was time to face the damage that had paved the road to this point.

"Fred's gone,"

"Oh, Ron," Hermione cried, hanging from his neck, trying her best to comfort him.

He looked at her, his red hair dusty, and tried to smiled. He disentangled himself from her, and walked towards his grieving family. She was stood there, alone. She had no one to go back to. She rubbed her arm, the scar was still there, she was tempted to rid her skin of the mark but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. It was almost nice to have a reminder that no one would ever have that power over her again. Harry was busy with everyone congratulating him, Hermione walks over the cracked bridge and looks over into the chasm. She was finally feeling the weight of loneliness, her parents were living their own separate lives without knowing who she was, and she just didn't know what her next step in her life was going to be. Should she stay on and complete her education, or should she fly out to Australia and try and find her family and start again? The decisions facing her were huge and she just couldn't get her head around the fact that there was no more danger. That she could make these decisions without fear. She took a deep breath and turned to walk back to her friends, resolved to push the negative feelings away and make the best of the day. It had been a victory and not one to be undermined. Hermione started to smile. It was all over and this could be the start of a whole new life for her and the others, she could almost see herself in a pantsuit heading to the Ministry for work, it was so impossibly close. However as always in her life, fate had other plans as she rounded the corner and into the eyeline of her friends, a rogue Death Eater decided on his next victim.

"What? Who are you?"

"Don't you dare talk to me, you filthy Mudblood,"

He raised his wand and Hermione never stood a chance. With a blinding pain in her temple, all there was, was darkness.

* * *

Snape awoke, the pain in his neck was almost unbearable. He looked around and brought his hand to the wound, it was sticky and still bleeding. He should be dead, how could the Dark Lord have made such an error, he struggled to his feet, the little blood left in his body made his head woosh and the room spin. He grasped onto the wall, trying to steady himself and remember how he could have survived such a brutal attack.

He limped out of the room and moved towards the castle, and from the cheering, Dumbledore's plan had gone the way it was supposed to and Harry had won. He felt a small smile rising on his lips, and then fall when he realised that he wasn't supposed to survive and Harry had probably seen his most intimate moments. He came up across the bridge and was taken back at the amount of damage that had been caused. The pain in his neck was easing and he finally felt more like a human as what little colour he had began to restore. He almost tripped over her.

"Granger,"

Her body was lying on the rubble, her eyes flickering underneath her eyelids. He desperately looked around him for someone to help him. Resigned that this was his problem alone, he rallied the little remaining strength and scooped her up into his arms and started to walk back into the grounds. People stopped and stared, obviously word had travelled fast and he tried his best to ignore the stares.

"You there!"

A young boy turned and looked at him, unable to say a word, in complete shock.

"Stop staring," Snape replied, sharply. Pain was now radiating up his arms. "Where are the injured being taken?"

"The Hospital Wing,"

He had never occurred to him that parts of the castle would be undamaged and usable, looking at the amount of rubble that was lying on the ground it seemed unlikely. He walked through the corridors, his cloak billowing behind him. His arms were aching and his legs felt like jelly. Snape opened the doors, and as if on cue the screams and smashing of glasses happened.

"But Potter said"

"Yes I am alive," He said, resigned. "But I also have Granger in my arms, who seems to be extremely unwell,"

Madam Pomfrey was the first to respond, getting a bed ready and levitating Hermione out of his arms and onto the bed, ready to diagnose. Snape collapsed into the nearest chair fading in and out of consciousness.

"Someone go and find Mr Potter and Mr Weasley, NOW," Madam Pomfrey shouted, adding quietly. "There might not be much time left.


	2. 2

She lay in the prison that had become her mind. She could see the light, feel the light but she couldn't get to it. She had felt the arms wrap around her and lift her up, but where she was now was a complete mystery and one that she wanted to get to the bottom of.

She felt a pudgy clammy hand grasp hold of hers, it could only be Ron's. This had to be bad, if Ron was in the infirmary and not with his family. She tried desperately to reach the light, but it was like moving through treacle. Something was always holding her back. Maybe it was because she didn't have anything to go back for.

"Why won't she wake up?" Ron asked quietly.

"Because her mind has been bent so far that it almost snapped,"

"Well bend it back, wake her up," Ron shouted.

Madam Pomfrey looked at with those pitying eyes, and Ron almost recoiled under them. He had never been one for pity, self-pitying but never from anyone else.

"I still say we should let nature run it's course and see if she wakes up on her own," Professor McGonagall replied.

"Severus-"

He was sat in a chair, with his eyes half closed, dreading this exact moment. He opened them to see Madam Pomfrey stood over him. He knew exactly what she wanted from him. A potion that would force Granger to awake, but could leave a part of her behind.

"Explain the risks," he said, firmly.

"There is a potion, one which Severus here is capable of drawing up for us,"

"And it would wake her?"

"Yes Harry, but there is something you need to know," Poppy said, trembling. "It forces Hermione's mind back into the world, and with that forceful movement, it can mean parts of her psyche and magic splinter off. She might not be the same girl she was when she was attacked."

Harry and Ron looked at each other.

"What are the chances of her waking up on her own?"

"What does it matter, there's a chance, why risk her mind and her personality if there's another way around it?" Mcgonagall chirped in.

"Madam Pomfrey, what is the chance she'll come out of this on her own?"

"Looking at the fact that she hasn't begun to stir and her life signs are faltering slightly, I wouldn't place my money on it,"

"Well give her the potion then," Ron said, decidedly.

"Mr Weasley,"

"No, she has to have it. I should have been there, I should have protected her,"

He didn't cry, he just stopped talking as though there were no more tears to be had. Snape rose from his seat and walked towards the door, with no acknowledgement, only turned when Harry shouted for him.

"I'm going to get the blasted potion, the sooner she drinks it the better her chance,"

As he walked down the hall, McGonagall rounded on Harry.

"You told me he was dead,"

"He was Professor, I saw the light go out of his eyes myself,"

"Well how Mr Potter is he walking around,"

"I don't know! Maybe you should ask him,"

He clapped a hand over his mouth, not believing he could have said such a thing. He respected McGonagall more than most. She just sank down in a chair and rubbed her hand over her face. The war had taken a toll on everyone involved and the weariness of everything was beginning to set in. They all stood around Hermione's bed, in silence.

* * *

Snape walked down the hall feeling the glares and the waves of anger flying at him. He felt empty. He thought of Lily and the way that it was supposed to go, he was supposed to be dead. He wanted to be dead.

He reached his office, everything was exactly the way it had been left, as though nothing had happened in the past year. He ran his finger over his belongings, and almost forgot his purpose. He grabbed a little silver flask, and wrapped his hand around it and looked back at his office with a sense of yearning. All he wanted was to be a normal person, to go back, and change the decisions he made.

He walked back into the hospital wing and before anyone could resist he administered the potion. Immediately Miss Granger began to awaken and only time would tell how badly the spell had affected her.

* * *

**AN; **I'm SO sorry that this took so long. I got caught up on life and work... but I am BACK!


	3. 3

It began with unbearable pain. She could feel the knife slicing through her head and through her eyes. The light was racing towards her but the treacle was still there, it was the same amount of resistance as before, her legs wouldn't move but still she was being pushed.

"She's waking up," Ron said.

He squeezed her hand tightly. He could see her eyes opening but the flashes of pain across her face were getting worse. She woke with a scream and began flailing. Madam Pomfrey was there within moments administering a calming draught, she sank back into the pillows wincing.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry asked her.

"I-"

"Of course she's alright, she's our 'Mione," Ron said, tears threatening.

She just smiled weakly. Madam Pomfrey gave her something to take away the weakness and that's when the real test begun. They handed her her wand and she tentatively waved into the air, nothing. Not surprising, a witch or wizard at their strongest had trouble with non-verbal spells. She tried again, but this time she commanded 'Wingardium Leviosa' and when nothing happened she began to panic, she pushed harder. The vial began to shake but with a flash of pain she fell into Harry and Ron's arms.

"It's alright Miss Granger, back into bed with you,"

She clambered back into bed, trembling. She was the brightest witch in her class, how can she not have access to her magic? They were all stood at the base of her bed whispering about her. She couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand the emptiness inside of her. She was so caught up in her own thoughts she almost missed Snape sat staring blankly at the conversation. He looked pale and worn. The shock of seeing him killed her trembling.

"There is only one solution, day –to-day care with the potion being given twice daily,"

"Right well, I can bring her home, and me and mum can do that," Ron said, defiantly.

She smiled. He was still the pig-headed boy she liked so much, but from the look on the teacher's faces they had something else in mind. She curled her knees to her chest, she knew she wasn't going to like this, and from the look on the boys' faces neither did they.

"Miss Granger, your magic is hanging on by a thread and in order for you to get the best help possible you need someone who knows what they are doing," Madam Pomfrey said.

Hermione sensed the hesitation, obviously this plan wasn't something they were completely happy with.

"You will live with Severus Snape until you are fit and well again," McGonagll replied. "It is only temporary, but it will ensure you have your best chance at getting better,"

Snape looked at her glaring, obviously this hadn't been his idea, she smiled tightly.

"When do we leave?"

"As soon as you are ready Miss Granger,"

She got down from the bed and put her bag over her shoulder. She felt better knowing it was there, she hugged the boys, forcing their protests into silence. She felt the tears falling.

"I'll see you really soon okay?"She said, sniffling. "Don't be getting into trouble without me,"

They smiled. Snape led her down the hallway and into a chamber with a working fireplace. Of course Floo Powder, for one last look she saw mere children dealing with the devastation of war, and her heart ached. She stepped into the flame, gingerly held onto Snape's cloak and was immediately thrown into a small dark lounge. Snape showed her silently up to her room, where she climbed onto the bed and began to cry.

* * *

When they had suggested it, he could have cried with rage. He was tired. He just wanted to sleep, and after that, go home and find out how he managed to survive such a vicious attack. He was sure that after the country had gotten over the shock they would come looking for him, and want to ask him a hundred different questions.

Surprisingly she had agreed with little fanfare and they had left with little fuss. Severus was relieved, he didn't know how he was supposed to react. They had walked through his humble house and he could feel the shame creeping up his face. The dark walls and the crooked stairs, it was never his intention to have people over, let alone live with him. He showed her to her room in silence, he didn't know whether he should apologise or say something comforting, and rather make a fool of himself he didn't say anything at all.

He collapses onto the sofa, and takes a deep breath, wanting the day to come to an end quickly. He stretches and drinks a sleeping draught and fell into a fitful sleep full of nightmares that no potion could rid him off.


End file.
